2024 KOH Survival Guide
Top 15 List of Grub, Gadgets, and Gear Needed to Thrive at King of the Hammers
Words: Matthew McNulty & Kyra Sacdalan
Photos: Logan Gallagher & Justin W. Coffey
When it comes to documenting an event like King of the Hammers (KOH), the UTV Sports (USM) team likes to think we move around more than the average patron. From reporting on the races, searching for unusual sights and fresh content to create, or just exploring Johnson Valley in whichever rad loaner vessel we have our hands on, we’ve put some rubber lined tracks behind us.
So, we thought it would be useful to share a little insight on what we utilize, and at times need, to keep our sh*t together during this vivacious and taxing event from Ultra4. The items in our “Survival Guide” might not be on everyone’s list – there are many wiser, more experienced citizens in Hammertown, but for a mixed group of fellas and lady, ranging in age from 20 to 40, a few of the bases are covered.
While we didn’t eat tacos every meal on the lakebed, they were a welcome pick-me-up after a long day of shooting, walking, riding, et al – especially when we wouldn’t be back in the Airbnb (where food awaited) for several hours more. There were a variety of vendors in Hammertown serving that quintessential handheld snack, all with the typical offerings one needs to have a recovery repast after sliding around in the silt. Expect to budget about $20 for two to three within the confines of this Mad Max kingdom. When you’re tired and battered, tacos at twenty bucks are well worth the cost. We definitely emptied our pockets at La Bufadora.
Not to circle back to food so soon…also harkening from south of the border. But this “Grab and Go” snack is just as quick to mention as they are to pack and eat. Yes, there are plenty of options, but if you weren’t a Boy Scout – meaning you didn’t think to pick up some dried meat up on the side of the highway for $30 (because it’s artisan) – then Baja Jerky is a must. To keep up with the fast-paced action and countless trails, you can’t be running on an empty stomach, and jerky is a great way to intake some necessary protein to stay sharp well into the wee hours. Be it at full send across the lake bed at high noon, lined up next to a racecourse inhaling sand, dust, and high-octane petrol, this pick me up is simple, packable, not too messy, and just enough nourishment.
KOH can be a long week (or two), doubly so when your schedule is anywhere as crowded as the average media personnel’s. Having free Monster Energy at their tent or in some random booth as incentive to stand around for a reveal. Better yet when cans are brought into Hammers from the outside world… Don’t take this the wrong way, we would gladly pay for the Monster boost, and we do, but the fact that it’s the swag of choice in Hammertown is some additional incentive.
Fan of energy drinks or not, if you’re seconds away from crashing, you’re headed into an editorial all-nighter, or need to wash the taste of dirt from your mouth, Monster provides a full Pantone palette of surprisingly diverse flavors to quench your thirst. And for those of you who are already Monster junkies, we had you at “complimentary monster”. We grabbed whatever was available, but the preference is the sugar-free Zero Ultra a.k.a. The White Monster.
The new 2024 Polaris RZR XP 4 1000 was our chariot of choice to go anywhere in the valley this week – from scouting photo locations to photo shoots to capturing the races. We climbed up technical sections, slid over the sand, and blasted across the lakebed or through open desert, trying to chase down race rigs and cool builds from location to location. It served our purposes as well as one could ask – plus storing our fragile equipment safely and keeping us comfy on the bumpy rides. The 4-seater left plenty of room for camera packs and laptops in the back, if not additional passengers. Bonus points for being a hell of a good time to drive.
Those who have been to King of the Hammers, or Johnson Valley in general, can tell you that cell reception is scarce at best. And the few Starlinks spread around the camps are definitely far between. With a four- to five-person media team on the ground, staying in touch throughout the day is critical to coordinate between a split group. We’re constantly switching gears and running in different directions, so having reliable radios from Rugged, which give us more serious range than most, keeps our game on-point. Without our usual ability to send quick text messages or phone calls, our set of Rugged Radios soon became our communication lifeline. But even when the bars are full and 5G is firing, we’d still opt for push-button comms for faster, seamless cues across the desert.
This is one you could see on anyone’s survival list on the lakebed. For those who believe in some version of self-preservation at least. But obvious or not, it’s a must-have item worth repeating. There’s a lot of dust. A lot of it. And to avoid an early onset case of “Hammer Lung” or whatever other ailments you might acquire from a city sized cloud of silt and exhaust fumes, wearing a dust gaiter (aka haad, aka neck sleeve, aka throat sock) is a fashionable, cheap, and easy decision. Other added benefits include a little extra warmth for the colder hours, some much-needed sun protection, and possibly looking cool enough that Justin will take impromptu portraits of you in front of an ice cream truck. If you need one for the future, make sure to look for USM at events, and we’ll gladly set you up!
KOH becomes dark, quickly. So, having some high-powered beams to cut a pizza wedge of visibility through the night sky serves a few purposes here. But for us, just making it back to home base safely was a priority. Photoshoots could easily extend into the evening, and even planned excursions, like Baja Designs infamous night rides, mean that an LED kit of various shapes and sizes are necessary to ensure a smooth, uncomplicated experience all the way through. An added benefit for photographers: the cars create their own lighting for an impromptu shoot on the rocks. Who doesn’t like to see and be seen…when you look this good?
Johnson Valley is unforgiving by nature. There’s plenty of ways to wind up in tough spots, and the more you can do to prepare yourself for a mishap the better. Pro Eagle jacks are cream of the crop in this industry, and they’ve just announced a new partnership with BFGoodrich to equip their products with bigger, badder, elite(r) rubber for smoother transport over any terrain.
Wherever you find yourself stranded in the Mojave, their products will offer a lift so you can tinker, and peer, and change out your flat tires with confidence. And when every minute matters between your next gig, it’s important to know you can safely fix your way out of a pickle with ease and efficiency. There’s a reason why so many race and recovery rigs carry one of these jacks for emergencies.
Another critical “self” recovery tool we took along our journeys this week was the personal packets (each) of LMNT electrolytes Having plenty of sodium to keep us going in a healthy way, despite our typical mixed-bag meals (Oreo’s, chips, bananas, and Pirate’s Booty), was critical. Electrolytes help you stay hydrated which ultimately restores energy, clears brain fog, and nurses you through an early morning hangover – not that we would know anything about that. [Insert guilty face emoji?] But we heard alcohol consumption might be common in Hammertown, so… You’re welcome.
This particular brand offers single use packs measured to just the right amount of flavored crystals for an average water bottle. We actually drink them preemptively to make sure our salt replenishment begins overnight to be fresh when the sun comes up. It didn’t hurt that all the flavors are bangers; we enjoyed the Grapefruit version, but Kyra swears by Mango Chili, Citrus, Chocolate, and (yes, they make them for hot drinks too) Chocolate Caramel. Tear, pour, shake, and swill.
Yet again, having the ability to “MacGyver” your way out of an incident in the desert is a skill that goes a long way. But for those who can’t change a tire with a pack of Zyns, a slap koozie, and dinosaur fossil, maybe consider picking up one of BoxoUSA’s special-edition King of the Hammers 80-piece off-road tool roll and bag. Close to the perimeter of KOH, we could probably find some help if needed, but it’s always better to be self-sufficient, and maintain some autonomy, over emergency repairs. These instruments pack up nicely and have whatever we need to do any kind of unscheduled repair efforts in the field.
To complete this very thorough section about bodily functions and hygiene, we also propose a variety of wet wipes – from your nether regions to your face (perhaps not in that order) – consistently removing the layer of grit from your skin is a shockingly pleasurable relief. You’d be surprised at how much better you feel at night when you’ve reemerged from your dirt cast. For this, any non-alcohol based option will not dry you out. And for the ladies, Kyra (again) recommends CORA for their PH-balanced “body cloths”. As she adamantly stated: “It matters. What’s worse than peeing in a Honey Bucket? Doing that – a lot – with a UTI. If you know, you know.”
Stock up on butt & body wipe. TP and Baby Wipes quickly go from a glad we have that to a why the hell didn’t we bring more of that? in a heartbeat. Brand is entirely up to your discretion, but for such an essential piece to the KOH survival puzzle, it’s nice to splurge a bit. Not just in the quantity, but the quality counts for a lot. If you can’t carry a lot of extra paper on your side-by-side, then choose the deluxe model. Some people like the pillowy softness of Charmin, while others prefer something closer to 120 grit sandpaper. If you wanna be fancy, Kyra recommends Bippy, which are made of bamboo so they’re tough, environmentally friendly, and are double-sided for his and her pleasure. A smooth side for a comfy feel, and a textured side for when your butt means business.
For longer days in the sun, having reliable ways to keep cold things cold became important as well. Having the luxury to toss back some chilled drinks, in our case Monsters, Liquid Deaths, and bottled water, out on the trail or the racecourse was a godsend. It’s another obvious must, but you can technically drink things that are lukewarm if you’re actually in survival mode. But this ain’t our first rodeo… And while many overland rigs came equipped with fridges, that’s an energy suck that wouldn’t quite work for our more performance oriented RZR XP. A cooler, like a ballistic one from Pro Armor, an Adventure Set from RUX, or Polaris’ NorthStar, fits nicely into a UTV, handles the rough terrain, and does the job of frosting your beverages nicely.
You might not have expected to see a pair of Vans in a “survival” guide, but these MTE boots (and shoes and slip-ons) are serious amblers. It’s no secret the brand has infiltrated the off-road community, but folks tend to stick with the traditional designs. Until now. At least for those who exit their vehicles on a regular basis, this product line provides competitive waterproofing, substantial tread (for Vans), and amazing comfort.
You can’t take those attributes for granted when you consider how much walking actually happens during this event. Let alone the tumultuous weather, unsteady landscapes, and inevitable muck they might trudge through. They look enough like “normal” shoes instead of boots so they can move seamlessly between work, riding, afterparties, and just strolling through vendor row with style. Coming in a wide variety of iterations and colors, they were a shockingly common sight “in the field”, and deserve a top slot on anyone’s “KOH Fashion Guide”, if nothing else.
Thirst seems to come up a lot in this article. But the reality is, when you’re on the move, exposed to the elements, and far away from civilization, “murdering your thirst” – as the brand’s tagline suggests – is actually one of the most important essentials to survival. Scientists might say it’s the essential element. However, drinking healthy liquids consistently isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (which is also fairly healthy). And this brand of no-nonsense, consciously tasty teas, Palmers, fizzies, and plain ol’ mountain waters is making a splash in the consumable section – making a statement while making you laugh. Plus their aluminum cans help reduce plastic waste while toting killer designs. Liquid Death is a nice, mellow substitute for stimulation when you’ve hit the limit on your daily energy drink intake.
Two words for you: “ice” “cream”. Even when it’s cold out, we can’t resist the nostalgic lure of an ice cream truck – well in this case, several vans. Chasing the familiar jingle blaring out of the Magnolia Hi-Fi sound system like captive children following the Pied Piper. Or rather, children following an ice cream truck… The treats are served by two generations of this family-owned fleet, cleverly enterprising on a hungry, sweet-toothed, often overheating crowd (in the thousands) of event-goers.
And when the mobile creameries are nowhere to be found, we venture straight to the ever-classic soft serve stand mere meters away from the Media center. The husband and wife team are a staple in Vendor Row, and they dole out quality swirls in cups and cones and hand-held waffles, with sprinkles no less. The inflatable cone perched on their truck is a beacon for indecisive eaters and loyal patrons alike. Now, is ice cream really an essential to surviving KOH? Yes.
But for argument’s sake, we’ll explain. It’s more what the frosty treat offers. It’s a moment of reprieve. An opportunity to reminisce on the good ol’ days – reliving some of the sweeter moments – in the few minutes allotted within our rigorous schedule. It’s a moment to relax. Eat something that isn’t fuel, just joy. Then regenerate morale before hiking up the next mountain, or wading through the vehicle mayhem, or being blasted by a playground worth of sand or dirt as the racecourse corner hard or the helicopter decides to buzz everyone before carrying on its merry way.